[ she got too comfortable, that's all. eddie was there for her at a time when she really desperately needed someone. he held her in his arms while she cried about the other gwen, and being dead back home. he became everything to her and quickly and she doesn't really know what to do with that. now that it's gone.
she shifts her weight a little so she's closer to eddie when he kneels, comforted by his presence even while knowing she shouldn't be. ]
It's okay.
[ it comes out quietly, and even gwen doesn't really believe it. she reaches up to put her hands on his shoulders, the touch meant to be both bracing and reassuring. ]
I love you. [ ok, no. not cool. but she got so used to saying it that it just sort of comes out. ] Go be married.
[ she really is happy for him. she knows what it means to him, to have his family around, and she couldn't possibly confuse that or stand in the way of it or anything. ]
[ his hand drops from her shoulder when she puts her hands on his. she says it's okay even though they both know it's not. she says she loves him and eddie feels a wave of guilt and shame hit him. he doesn't deserve that. he wants to say the words back but it's not fair of him, as true as they are. he hopes she knows, after the hundred of times he's told her. he hopes she knows it's not something that will change or vanish because they're apart.
he just clenches his jaw and nods, but before he stands he cups her face and presses a kiss at her forehead. its light and he lingers there longer than he should, his non vocal way to tell her he loves her, too.
then he turns stands and turns away. if he stays another second he won't be able to leave. it's already like peeling away a part of himself to leave her here like that, but he assumes he's the last person she wants to see. ]
You know where to find me, if you need [ to scream at me or throw something at my head ] anything.
[ she knows that she's doing this to herself, and that even if she wasn't he's well within his rights here. he's married and gwen knows well enough how much they mean to one another. but it's the first time she's told him she loves him and he hasn't said it back. it's so stupid to care, but she cares.
caring is so stupid.
being on the floor is stupid, but she doesn't trust herself to get up right now. ]
I know where to find you.
[ confirmed. they were going to live together. definitely don't think about it. she's supposed to have a good brain, except it's totally betraying her now. ]
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she shifts her weight a little so she's closer to eddie when he kneels, comforted by his presence even while knowing she shouldn't be. ]
It's okay.
[ it comes out quietly, and even gwen doesn't really believe it. she reaches up to put her hands on his shoulders, the touch meant to be both bracing and reassuring. ]
I love you. [ ok, no. not cool. but she got so used to saying it that it just sort of comes out. ] Go be married.
[ she really is happy for him. she knows what it means to him, to have his family around, and she couldn't possibly confuse that or stand in the way of it or anything. ]
no subject
he just clenches his jaw and nods, but before he stands he cups her face and presses a kiss at her forehead. its light and he lingers there longer than he should, his non vocal way to tell her he loves her, too.
then he turns stands and turns away. if he stays another second he won't be able to leave. it's already like peeling away a part of himself to leave her here like that, but he assumes he's the last person she wants to see. ]
You know where to find me, if you need [ to scream at me or throw something at my head ] anything.
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caring is so stupid.
being on the floor is stupid, but she doesn't trust herself to get up right now. ]
I know where to find you.
[ confirmed. they were going to live together. definitely don't think about it. she's supposed to have a good brain, except it's totally betraying her now. ]