bronzini | eudio inbox.

no no, no deal!
i want to take you to the zoo like people do
for dates

and stuff.

so i want to pay. if thats okay

and god i dont even know he kept telling me to look at the birds
like i was committing a crime by not being completely taken by them like he was

im glad we went though because i dont think hes having that great of a time and its not exactly been easy
its probably hard to notice but he, uh, doesnt have any memories of anything except chasing walter across the desert

oh! oh it's a date
ok

yeah, that's ok
i mean
thank you

oh no oh eddie that's so adorable

but jesus i wish you'd told me
i had no idea
i'm gonna read to him but i
are you holding up ok?
this is like mood whiplash

okay! great
its a date

yeah sorry i could have brought this up more delicately or earlier but its kind of a mess and also a huge bummer and i dont want to bum you out. ever, if possible. i was going to talk to you about it the other night but when youre around im happy so all that stuff seems so abstract. it all seems like itll be fine, you know?

i told him what i could
so its okay. itll be fine but seeing him is tough
im figuring it out

yes sir

i'm glad that i make you feel that way. you do the same for me. but considering i've probably bummed you out extensively with my real life EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, i think you're allowed. i mean only if you feel like it, but i'm here. either way, good stuff and bad stuff. i'm in this.

i'll catch him up.

also for the record you're brave and generous and if he doesn't know that right now that doesn't mean that none of that stuff happened. you guys are always going to mean what you mean to each other. even if he doesn't know it yet, that connection doesn't just go away

i do feel like it. youre the first one i wanna go to when anything happens at all, fancy that. dont encourage me to spam you at my every whim
also you haven't bummed me out, not at all. just thought id make that clear

and yeah, i know. i think he kind of feels it i dont know what that means or why he forgot but i really think he did forget instead of having never met me
so he believes me and all that but sometimes i forget for two seconds and then things get awkward or he gets mad because im bad at hiding that im upset and he can tell somethings wrong

its not his fault but it really pisses me off that i get the chance to have more time with him and he doesnt remember me
its like being taunted
like haha youre gonna die dont you wish you had more time with the people you love??? oh wait we never said they'd REMEMBER YOU

k but the same holds true for me and i definitely DO spam you at my every whim so i mean
turnabout is fair play and various other helpful sayings.
i'm glad i haven't bummed you out.

and ok, that's sort of what i assumed that he'd never met you. but it's possible, um, that something happened to him further along than we've seen.
he shouldn't get mad at you though, it's not your fault. you shouldn't have to hide it.

oh eddie i'm sorry.
i know this isn't the same but i felt like that when i heard that there was another gwen bc i think she might also be spider-woman and it's just like
i know what it feels like to wonder whether you're the target of some awful cosmic joke, that's all.

you could text me at 4 am and id think that was worth getting woken up for, just so you know

yeah i think so, he said something about a cycle but i dont think he knows what it means himself so thats fun. i mean the answer is in the books but i dont want to look at anything after a certain point

yeah he knows that its because i invited him over but then i was being how i am when im bothered by something and he thought i was wasting his time

thats exactly what it feels like yeah some crappy cosmic joke. ka having a laugh. im sure ill get over it but you know how much i miss them
its like having part of it back but not at all and it feels unfair but ive gotta live with it dont i

well likewise, gunslinger

jesus ok

i'm gonna have to read ahead anyway, i don't want there to be any surprises. i'll see if i can find something for you.

i'm sorry ka's being such a bitch right now. i'm gonna come over again maybe after our date we can idk drink pumpkin spice lattes and cuddle. i was gonna say watch a movie but i might as well say what i mean.

okay
i think i wouldnt mind hearing things from after coming from you as much
if you find anything that could help roland then yeah let me know
he'd be really grateful too

im already looking forward to it
ive also never had a pumpkin spice latte

it doesnt feel like enough to try and text you about how much i appreciate all this but i hope you know i do. i appreciate you but i also really fucking love you gwen

i'd do anything for you guys.
i mean it's a lot of responsibility but i can handle it, you know. i'm pretty sharp.
i'll figure this out for you guys. i promise.

k don't have one without me.
if you hate yours i'll drink it, it's like fall in a cup.
it's kind of like a rite of passage.

i love you a hell of a lot back eddie
i wouldn't do this for just anyone

if you can't keep reading its okay i don't want you to force yourself through that
do you... i didnt tell you how it happens, did i. do you want me to?

alright ill wait for our post zoo date cuddle date
youre realling talking this drink up i expect greatness

i know. youre the best and most amazing and i dont know how to thank you
for everything

it's ok you're the one who had to live through it
you can tell me. i don't know how i died. just that it's - something to do with a green goblin? comic books, i guess.

ummm it's pretty great. buckle your seatbelt.

you don't have to thank me
i'm doing it cause i love you.

or, ironically, not live through it
i dont know if its better to know or not. i dont know if i would rather not know than know
i think either way sucks. not knowing makes you on the edge about it but knowing doesnt help anything

i can remember it
not the act of dying itself but, well
its not really a quick death

[ the next messages takes a while. he doesn't have to heart to send them. and he's never spoken of how it happens, only that it did. ]

i got shot in the head
first thing i remember isn't even pain it's going blind
i think i pass out and things get hazy and fever dreamy and then i wake up and know i'm a goner
thats when the eudio rep showed up, essentially confirming what i already knew

i hope telling you is the right thing to do i dont want you to get upset but it might make it easier to read if you already know and if you remember i'm here. right? im here for now and thats what matters

oh eddie

i'm sorry
i love you so much and you must've been so scared
i wish i could've been there i hope that the people you love were there

you're too young and idk if i believe there's such a thing as a good death but i'm
i'm thinking it was one. if that means anything to you.

my dad died to make sure that spider-man saved the city and i think that's what he would've wanted
i mean other than dying of old age

like i said i don't think anyone wants that but i've resigned myself to the fact that i'm surrounded by you do-gooder hero types
i get to say that bc i'm dead too

it does mean something to me it means a lot to me because i thought the same thing i thought dying this way was better and it was good and im okay with it
not OKAY okay because id rather not but if im gonna die
then this isnt the worst way to go you know

im sorry about your dad. and do-gooder hero types. and that youre surrounded with them
i dont know if i really am one but i try

i wish i could be there to stop it and make sure it doesnt happen because

can i call you?

you are one really

you can just gimme a sec

[ he waits a few minutes and then dials, even though he doesn't have any specific to say except wanting to hear her voice, and to make sure she's okay. he knows she mustn't be, but maybe he can crack a few jokes and she can pretend she doesn't hear the way his own voice sounds a little broken. ]

Hey. How are you doing?

Hi.

[ if she sounds distinctly teary, she's also distinctly happy to hear from him. even if there's a little sniffle action happening on the other end. ]

Shouldn't I be asking you that?

[ he's not gonna comment on the sniffling. it's not like he's doing any better. ]

I think at this point we could both be asking each other that for a good reason.

I just - it's different... [ hearing all the details. ] I didn't know you knew so much about what happened.

Yeah. [ he sniffs. ] I don't think about it much. Haven't even told anyone that before.

Oh, Eddie. [ she has to wipe her nose again. ] That's... I'm really glad that you told me. I mean, that you aren't alone with that anymore. And I'm glad that you don't think about it. I don't think you should.

I wish I could've told you something else instead like how nice the flowers smell in Mid-World. Which they do, by the way.

[ he pauses, letting out a breath. it does feel good to have it off his chest but he wishes it wasn't something upsetting to her. ]

I'm gonna stick to my ways of avoiding it. There's no point, anyway. It's not what I want to remember.

You can still tell me all that stuff. [ she closes her eyes for a moment, breathing out in a rush. ] I wanna know everything about you. Not in a creepy way.

You should remember the good stuff.

I want to tell you everything. I just wish it was all easy and good.

[ he flops sideways on his couch at that point, exhaling again. ]

I'm trying. Especially with Roland around.

text. youre enabling me to love you by drowning your inbox just saying u were warned

text. somehow i do not have a problem with this

text. you play a dangerous game

text. i'm sure i'll live to regret it someday

text. drags u to hell with me

text. sure is warm here

text. its worth it

text. holds hands with you in hell

text. skips through the flames with you

text. how romantic

text. the epitome of romance tbh

text. all that firelight

text. and the cries of the damned

text. THOSE ARE MY CRIES

text. OOPS MY BAD

text. wails

voice. well im also screaming so were even

voice. you got me but also yourself

voice. my own evil worked against me

voice. i'm so sorry

voice. im blaming you

voice. oh it's MY fault

voice. 50/50 RESPONSIBILITY HERE

voice. ok that seems fair

voice. good. bangs gavel. agreed for 50/50 responsibility