bronzini | eudio inbox.

okay
i think i wouldnt mind hearing things from after coming from you as much
if you find anything that could help roland then yeah let me know
he'd be really grateful too

im already looking forward to it
ive also never had a pumpkin spice latte

it doesnt feel like enough to try and text you about how much i appreciate all this but i hope you know i do. i appreciate you but i also really fucking love you gwen

i'd do anything for you guys.
i mean it's a lot of responsibility but i can handle it, you know. i'm pretty sharp.
i'll figure this out for you guys. i promise.

k don't have one without me.
if you hate yours i'll drink it, it's like fall in a cup.
it's kind of like a rite of passage.

i love you a hell of a lot back eddie
i wouldn't do this for just anyone

if you can't keep reading its okay i don't want you to force yourself through that
do you... i didnt tell you how it happens, did i. do you want me to?

alright ill wait for our post zoo date cuddle date
youre realling talking this drink up i expect greatness

i know. youre the best and most amazing and i dont know how to thank you
for everything

it's ok you're the one who had to live through it
you can tell me. i don't know how i died. just that it's - something to do with a green goblin? comic books, i guess.

ummm it's pretty great. buckle your seatbelt.

you don't have to thank me
i'm doing it cause i love you.

or, ironically, not live through it
i dont know if its better to know or not. i dont know if i would rather not know than know
i think either way sucks. not knowing makes you on the edge about it but knowing doesnt help anything

i can remember it
not the act of dying itself but, well
its not really a quick death

[ the next messages takes a while. he doesn't have to heart to send them. and he's never spoken of how it happens, only that it did. ]

i got shot in the head
first thing i remember isn't even pain it's going blind
i think i pass out and things get hazy and fever dreamy and then i wake up and know i'm a goner
thats when the eudio rep showed up, essentially confirming what i already knew

i hope telling you is the right thing to do i dont want you to get upset but it might make it easier to read if you already know and if you remember i'm here. right? im here for now and thats what matters

oh eddie

i'm sorry
i love you so much and you must've been so scared
i wish i could've been there i hope that the people you love were there

you're too young and idk if i believe there's such a thing as a good death but i'm
i'm thinking it was one. if that means anything to you.

my dad died to make sure that spider-man saved the city and i think that's what he would've wanted
i mean other than dying of old age

like i said i don't think anyone wants that but i've resigned myself to the fact that i'm surrounded by you do-gooder hero types
i get to say that bc i'm dead too

it does mean something to me it means a lot to me because i thought the same thing i thought dying this way was better and it was good and im okay with it
not OKAY okay because id rather not but if im gonna die
then this isnt the worst way to go you know

im sorry about your dad. and do-gooder hero types. and that youre surrounded with them
i dont know if i really am one but i try

i wish i could be there to stop it and make sure it doesnt happen because

can i call you?

you are one really

you can just gimme a sec

[ he waits a few minutes and then dials, even though he doesn't have any specific to say except wanting to hear her voice, and to make sure she's okay. he knows she mustn't be, but maybe he can crack a few jokes and she can pretend she doesn't hear the way his own voice sounds a little broken. ]

Hey. How are you doing?

Hi.

[ if she sounds distinctly teary, she's also distinctly happy to hear from him. even if there's a little sniffle action happening on the other end. ]

Shouldn't I be asking you that?

[ he's not gonna comment on the sniffling. it's not like he's doing any better. ]

I think at this point we could both be asking each other that for a good reason.

I just - it's different... [ hearing all the details. ] I didn't know you knew so much about what happened.

Yeah. [ he sniffs. ] I don't think about it much. Haven't even told anyone that before.

Oh, Eddie. [ she has to wipe her nose again. ] That's... I'm really glad that you told me. I mean, that you aren't alone with that anymore. And I'm glad that you don't think about it. I don't think you should.

I wish I could've told you something else instead like how nice the flowers smell in Mid-World. Which they do, by the way.

[ he pauses, letting out a breath. it does feel good to have it off his chest but he wishes it wasn't something upsetting to her. ]

I'm gonna stick to my ways of avoiding it. There's no point, anyway. It's not what I want to remember.

You can still tell me all that stuff. [ she closes her eyes for a moment, breathing out in a rush. ] I wanna know everything about you. Not in a creepy way.

You should remember the good stuff.

I want to tell you everything. I just wish it was all easy and good.

[ he flops sideways on his couch at that point, exhaling again. ]

I'm trying. Especially with Roland around.

I know. I know. It can't all be - lobstrosities and billy bumblers.

[ she laughs a little, making herself cry. she has to take another deep breath to steady herself. ]

Yeah. He looks nothing like Clint Eastwood, by the way. Total disappointment.

[ is it obvious she's trying to cheer him up? ]

[ it is, but it's working. he appreciates everything she says. he even laughs at that comment. his voice is thick but there's still humour in it. ]

I know, right? In a way I guess we've been spared. You seen Clint Eastwood lately?

[ he lets out a little yeurgh. ]

He looks ancient.

[ she lies down on her back on the couch, letting out a sigh. ]

I know. He looks like old wax paper.

[ it's the yeurgh that really gets her. ]

Are you doing OK with all that, by the way? I started reading again so I could keep ahead of him, but I haven't got to anything yet.

I think so. I don't know.

[ he closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. ]

Not really. He's confused and I'm not much help, but I'm figuring it out.

[ there's a very brief pause, just the time of an intake of breath. ]

I can be there when you do, if you want. Or you could ask me to come over after.

I'm sorry. I wish I could help more.

[ more than the reading, but in an emotional sort of way. she worries about him. it's got to be rough. she knows it's rough for her being from a different time than peter, and they at least remember each other. ]

That might be nice. I'm not gonna - make you listen to any of the books. But after... Yeah.

[ he doesn't want her to think she doesn't help as much as anyone can. immediately, and insistently, he pipes in. ]

You do help, Gwen. You help more than anybody.

[ eddie doesn't like the thought of her alone with the books past a certain point. ]

Okay. After. Just say when and I'll run to your door. I don't want to leave you alone with all that.

Edited 2015-10-01 12:54 (UTC)

[ it does settle her a bit to hear that she helps. more than anything, that seems to be what she cares more and more about. she wants to be there for eddie, to give him something good in the face of all the crap he's had to deal with.

and she doesn't want him to be alone with the knowledge of his death. that alone seems unbearable. ]

Good. I want to. I mean, I'm here for you, Eddie. No matter what.

[ whatever the circumstances are and whatever they grow into in the future, she cares about him, and that isn't going to change. ]

You shouldn't have to worry about me like that.

[ she's only reading. but you'll note she's not actually telling him not to worry. ]

I know you are. Makes me feel like I'm not alone.

[ god, how is it that he's known her for such a short time and feels alright telling her everything? ]

I shouldn't, but I do. And I will.

text. skips through the flames with you

text. how romantic

text. the epitome of romance tbh

text. all that firelight

text. and the cries of the damned

text. THOSE ARE MY CRIES

text. OOPS MY BAD

text. wails

voice. well im also screaming so were even

voice. you got me but also yourself

voice. my own evil worked against me

voice. i'm so sorry

voice. im blaming you

voice. oh it's MY fault

voice. 50/50 RESPONSIBILITY HERE

voice. ok that seems fair

voice. good. bangs gavel. agreed for 50/50 responsibility

voice.

voice.

voice.

voice.

voice.

voice.

voice.

voice.